It's time to grow up
I still feel like a freshly graduate (from an undergrad program, of course!). I do. I feel like a 22-year-old. Well, maybe 23. And I'm blaming it all (or giving the credits to) studying abroad for a long time.It seems to me that studying abroad is like a time capsule. And I just leaped ahead to the present time. My friends talk differently, think differently, are married, have a couple of kids, get chubby, etc. And more importantly, they can handle much more responsibilities. Some are even considered 'successful' in their career paths.
Only a couple of weeks back home, I already feel the urge to "grow up"...to catch up, really. Somehow, I find it spiritually difficult...as if I'm trapped in a dilemma. Lost and don't know which direction to go. But I guess I'll have to go through with it anyway...sooner or later. Will have to get a job, be more responsible, manage time, and send greeting cards to everyone during important holidays/birthdays (so sorry, I've perform badly in this area for a long time :P).
In sum, I feel like I want to change. Some time ago, I was quite happy with who I was. But now, I'm not. I find it difficult to "change" but "not change" ...hmm...confusing isn't it. My point is that I still wanna be me, but a better me, a wiser me, a non-lazy me, etc. Again (and as you might see it from my writing today), I'm finding it quite difficult...but still believe in its possibility.
posted by Bikku @ 12:13 AM
8 Comments:
I so understand...
This blog somehow expresses my thought as well.
Although i'm working now and not like just fresh from college, I feel like i need to really think about my future. what i really need in life..what is my career path...be more responsible..grow up..but still i wanna be me, I dont wanna change the way i am. I wanna laugh as loud as i do now.. How can i grow up and still be crazy as i am now!!!
Well... seems like most of us who have spent [or are spending] some time studying abroad all face the same problem, more or less. Time spent abroad is just like time spent in Neverland [not Michael Jackson's one though]. We had joy. We had fun. Once we graduate [I'm still not getting any close to that point though. Just an anticipation. :) ], then... bam! reality hits, and it hurts real bad.
Anyway, I don't find 'grow up' a synonym to 'completely change'. You can still enjoy life, have some fun, and be responsible at the same time. I belive that to be a true grown-up, the key is to balance our life well. ;)
I think the difficulty of life outta school is that you don't see the concrete goals of your existence. There are too many things to concern and you get lost of where you really want to head to or even who you are. The word 'change' implies too many meanings. To me, you can change while still being you. ^^ (oh...gosh.. the word 'change' again! It reminds me too much of my thesis!! haha)
understand makkkk.......i still feel like i'm 18yrs old...and feel like i have nothing better than 18yrs old kids....but ummm.....
how about 'ADDING' not 'Changing'.
for me,I think you should stay who you are...but just 'ADD' another you,another part of you into who u r right now....shouldnt it be better than CHANGING and loose something in yourself right now???
I once read this quotation:
"we will all find out that we can never be the same person, because of the books (and blogs!) we read and people we meet."
During my puppy love period, I used to like the song, "I love you just the way you are"...but later in life, I think we all change...develop...evolve...adding up...or what-so-ever...I think accepting change...accepting impermanence is so comforting in a way na. Embrace the flux/dynamics of life!
Wow...so many cool opinions :D
there is a child living in everyone's body
this is exactly what I am forcing myself to do. to grow up...kk
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